Responding to Traumatic Stress

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When I began to work as a student assistant, I thought it would be about making curriculum more accessible, scaffolding, encouraging, cheering, implementing behaviour plans, advising on seating charts and giving reminders to raise hands but I was blindsided by the emotional aspect of my work. And, the emotional aspect to teaching.

Awhile back, I accompanied the school counsellor to meet with two child welfare workers and a student’s parent; it was my first meeting in such a setting and I was nervous. The school counsellor’s first two attempts to open an investigation into suspected emotional harm and neglect were denied. On this visit, I wanted to do the student justice, relaying my observations and the things shared with me. Witnessing meltdowns, outbursts and negative self-talk has been heartbreaking. I've had to ask what it looks like when his parent gets angry, and the school nurse has asked me to keep a lookout for signs of physical abuse. I am thankful for a team to rely on. This work cannot be done in isolation, it really does take a team, we all share responsibility for the safety and well-being of our students, and the most effective way to fulfill that responsibility is by working together. Thankfully, child welfare agreed to open an investigation and they are receiving the outside support they need.
In the meantime, students, just as with this student, get to know every day they come into school that somebody's excited to see them. I have had that same student ask me, "Why are you nice to me?" and "Why don't you yell at me?" I think when we respond with empathy we are in a better position to connect with students and that meaningful connection can encourage students to 'show up' at school, that is, do their best, engage, communicate and persevere.

When working as a counsellor within the area of women and violence, I would often be asked “Why doesn’t she just leave?” placing blame on women rather than asking the better question, “What prevents her from leaving?” Answers include fear, danger, isolation, shame, denial, trauma, low confidence/self-esteem, financial dependence. This is just to demonstrate that we, as humans, need to pause to consider what is really going on with the people around us.

In this same vein, I have also come across school staff who get upset with students, jump into judgement and think “What’s wrong with you?”. Shifting this mindset to “What’s happened to you?” allows us to respond to students instead of react; it's an important difference. It's a reminder of student context, that they show up at school coping with struggles with peers, academic stress, complex home lives, and even trauma. Empathy allows us to relate to our students with sensitivity to their experiences and perspectives. It occurs when judgment or indifference is replaced with understanding and genuine caring.

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I'm grateful to the time spent on traumatic stress and how to respond to its varied forms. Here's a link to my cohorts Responding toTramautic Stress Padlet, if you would like to take a peek. It's not an exhaustive list but it's a good start.